Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life?
Life transitions. Those two words have very different meanings. Life transitions are any changes or adjustments that significantly impact your life. Our lives are filled with transitions, whether big or small, planned or unplanned. A transition may involve something exciting, such as starting a new job or welcoming a new baby. However, they can include difficult things, as well. Such as divorce, the loss of a spouse, or the loss of a dream.
If I were to ask you what song best defines your life, what song would that be? Currently, the song that speaks to me is Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I've been going through some significant life transitions in the last four months. I've moved a daughter back to college. My son (and baby of the family) started high school. My middle daughter is a senior in college. I completed my graduate program. I'm starting a new career and moving my oldest daughter across the country for work. So, these lyrics have been playing over and over in my head. Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Merriam (2005) talks about four life transitions: anticipated, unanticipated, nonevent, and sleeper. Each type of transition brings challenges, provides growth opportunities, and will impact other areas of your life. You can navigate the process better if you understand the transition you are experiencing.
Anticipated transitions are events you expect to happen at some point in your life. Examples are sending kids to college, buying a new house, or retiring. When these transitions occur at the time you expect, it can be exhilarating. Yet, even if you have planned for a transition, it can still feel unsettling. For example, taking on new roles and closing a chapter can create worry, anxiety, and even sadness.
Unanticipated transitions are those you didn't see coming and don't fit into the vision you had for your life. These transitions might include divorce, getting a difficult diagnosis, the death of a spouse, or the loss of a baby. Managing grief and dealing with loss due to these events can be extremely painful and confusing, leading to sadness, doubt, and worry.
Nonevent transitions are those you expect to happen but don't, such as infertility, not getting the promotion you had worked for or a long-term relationship you thought would lead to a marriage, ending. Perhaps you’ve been praying for an outcome, and the answer was no. Grieving the loss of the life you expected can lead to shame and despair.
Sleeper transitions are the ones that occur gradually over time, they kind of sneak up on you. These transitions might be rewarding, such as developing sweet relationships with your kids, growing a business, and reaching a health goal. However, they may also appear negatively. Such as the deterioration of a friendship or the health of yourself or a loved one.
Transitioning to a new stage of life takes time and can be overwhelming. You may experience emotional ups and downs. Understanding the type of transition you are going through can be helpful, but often people wait to reach out until the worry, anxiety, sadness, or shame become too heavy. It doesn't have to be this way. There is hope; you don’t have to sort through this season alone.
If you're struggling to handle a season of your life, please reach out! I'd love to help you navigate this life transition and find hope and healing on the other side.
Schedule an appointment here. Or, feel free to reach out anytime with questions at info@vineandbranchcounseling.com or (402) 413-8841. I’d love to connect with you!